


A Distant Relationship

by tobeconspicuous



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Break Up, Established Relationship, Getting Back Together, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 17:50:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15124727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobeconspicuous/pseuds/tobeconspicuous
Summary: He closed his laptop before Peter could respond and sat in silence for a moment. Letting the gravity of what he had just suggested was over him. He didn’t want to lose Peter, but they’d been trying to make it work for years and it just wasn’t. Sonny took a deep breath before he forced himself to stand up and he made his way to his bedroom.As he lay in bed that evening he pushed all thoughts of Peter aside and ignored the tears that were streaming down his face. Even though he didn’t give Peter the chance to argue with him, Sonny knew that it was goodbye.





	A Distant Relationship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keraunoscopia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keraunoscopia/gifts).



> For keraunoscopia, who asked for a long distance relationship with angst and deserves so much more than this for her birthday.
> 
> My initial idea was completely different to what happened here. Oops.
> 
> Special thanks as always to ChameleonCircuit for their wonderful support for acting as a beta for this fic. They really make my writing so much better.
> 
> I do not own, only enjoy, and I hope you do too. Feedback is very much appreciated.

“I don’t understand you.”

The call had started normally. It was Sonny’s birthday and he was excited to see Peter’s face flash up on his laptop screen. He had quickly answered, his stomach fluttering at the sight of Peter’s smiling face and the sing song way that Peter had said Happy Birthday. He told Sonny that he missed him, he told Sonny that he loved him. It had been nice, wonderful even.

It didn’t last. Sonny found himself glaring down as Peter’s usually happy face contorted into a look of frustration. “I have one free weekend in my schedule and you’re not willing to fly to Chicago and join me?”

“I have a job, Peter,” Sonny tried to explain. “I can’t uproot myself with no notice—”

“It’s five weeks from now,” Peter snapped.

Sonny had tried to explain that he would never make detective if he didn’t put in the hours on the ground. His superiors had taken a long time to warm up to him, only recently he felt as though he was at a point where he could progress his career. Peter had never understood though.

They’d been dating for almost a year when Peter had answered the phone and was offered his dream job. He had turned to Sonny with soft green eyes and asked him what he should do. How else was Sonny supposed to answer but with a yes? Sonny sent Peter off with a kiss and the promise to call him.

The distance had been difficult at first, but as Peter had some free time he was able to travel to be with Sonny. Peter’s career soon picked up and he was moved from the minor league to the majors. Their occasional weekends together soon disappeared. Their first fight occurred when Sonny refused to move to Chicago.

Gina had just broken up with her fiancé, Tommy had just been arrested and his father had suffered a mild stroke. Sonny wasn’t willing to leave his family, not when they needed him. Peter said he understood, but Sonny heard the hurt in his tone before he hung up. It was their first argument, but it wasn’t their last.

Now they were nearing their fourth anniversary, still living apart, trying to make time for each other. Sonny would try to visit Chicago when Peter had time, and he certainly made time to see Peter on the rare occasions he had a game in New York.

When they were together things were good, really good. They would spend each spare moment together, wrapped up in one another and Sonny would wonder how he could ever want anything else.

Their partings were always filled with long drawn out kisses and whispered goodbyes. The moment Peter was out of his sight Sonny’s heart felt heavy and he wished there was another way.

Then came the phone calls, the bitter discussions followed by hurt and regret. Their arguments consisted of who was trying harder, and who loved the other more. Initially one of them would apologize and they would make up within moments. Now their words hung thick in the air between them, and all too often they were ending calls angry.

Which is where they were at the moment, which is why Sonny was wishing his boyfriend hadn’t called to say happy birthday. Peter’s request wasn’t unreasonable, and Sonny desperately wanted to take the time off. But there were others who were just as capable as him, who weren’t asking for time off, who would be considered over him.

If Sonny wanted to make detective by thirty he would need to keep pushing through. Once he had made it he would look at his options, but until then he just had to push through. He had explained this to Peter multiple times before, but his words seemed to fall on deaf ears.

And even though it made his heart ache to say the words, they were all he could force out. “I just can’t.”

“It’s as if I’m the only one who tries here, Sonny.” Peter’s voice shook with anger.

“Really, Peter?” Sonny was unable to control the derision in his tone. “You’re the only one who tries?” He leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I _tried_ to visit you a month ago. I even flew into Chicago. You’re the one who told me the wrong dates and left me alone in the city.”

“I apologized profusely,” Peter countered. “And I flew back just to be with you on your last night.”

“I know,” Sonny sighed.

“I’m giving you the correct dates now,” Peter continued to rant. “Why can’t you just take the time to come and see me?”

“Peter,” Sonny took a deep breath. A wave of nausea swept over him and bile clawed at his throat. “I don’t think this is working.”

The words were out before he could think twice about them. His head spun and his heart hammered in his chest. What was he thinking? He held a breath as he waited for Peter’s response.

Peter’s voice went small and started to shake. “What?”

“Aren’t you tired of always fighting?” Sonny continued wearily, running a hand through his hair.

He watched as Peter opened and closed his mouth, struggling to find words. “But I love you.” His words were so simple, so true that they broke Sonny’s heart.

“I love you too,” Sonny held back his tears, unable to quite believe the words he was saying. “And I’ll always love you, but I just don’t think it’s enough anymore.”

“Sonny--”

“Just think about it, Peter,” Sonny murmured. “Goodnight.”

He closed his laptop before Peter could respond and sat in silence for a moment. Letting the gravity of what he had just suggested was over him. He didn’t want to lose Peter, but they’d been trying to make it work for years and it just wasn’t. Sonny took a deep breath before he forced himself to stand up and he made his way to his bedroom.

As he lay in bed that evening he pushed all thoughts of Peter aside and ignored the tears that were streaming down his face. Even though he didn’t give Peter the chance to argue with him, Sonny knew that it was goodbye.

\--

It had been years, but the name Peter Stone still filled Sonny’s stomach with butterflies, still made his heart beat faster. After that fateful video chat on his birthday, he had followed Peter’s career, and even contemplated reaching out to him after he injured his shoulder.

The voice inside his head stopped him though. What if Peter was in a relationship? What if he never wanted to hear from Sonny again? He didn’t want to interrupt Peter’s life, instead he focused on his career, silently celebrating his accomplishments as he moved forward in his career.

Though there were times Sonny wished Peter was there with him.

When he finally made detective and worked his first homicide. When he passed his LSAT’s and was accepted into Fordham’s law program. When he transferred into SVU and was kicked from borough to borough. When Tom Cole had held a pistol to his head, when the man’s blood hand ended up on his face.

Each and every time Sonny’s finger’s had itched, wanting to pick the the phone and call Peter. Each and every time he decided not to.

He had never expected to see Peter again. But when Olivia stormed into the squadroom ranting about Jack McCoy’s newest protege being Ben Stone’s son, Sonny felt numb. He choked back a bitter laugh. Peter had shown no interest in becoming a lawyer, he wanted to get out from his father’s shadow.

Ever curious, Sonny snuck in and watched Rafael’s trial from the back of the courtroom. He spent the afternoon in awe of Peter, who oozed charm and confidence, who clearly knew his way around a courtroom. Sonny couldn’t help but feel envious of that. He had come to terms with his decision not to practice law. Still, he felt the itch, to prove that he could do so.

He didn’t stick around for long, ducking out of the courtroom as they broke from lunch. Sonny was eager to get away from the memories, eager to get back to work.

He didn’t expect the hand on his shoulder. Nor did he expect the softly spoken ‘Sonny’ to follow.

He whipped himself around only to find himself standing face to face with Peter Stone. The man he had loved, who he still loved. Peter, who still had a smile that filled Sonny’s soul with warmth, who’s soft green eyes sparkled with mischief. Sonny took a deep breath and forced a smile.

“Peter,” he practically breathed, allowing his eyes to roam over the all too familiar form. “How are you?”

“I-I’m good.” His voice was soft and oh so familiar. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“New York is a big city,” Sonny winced at his own tacky joke. “Rafael is a colleague, I work Manhattan SVU.”

“Ahh.”

An awkward silence hung between the two of them. Sonny took a deep breath and attempted to end the convo. “Well, it was nice--”

“Have dinner with me?” Peter interrupted, a shy smile on his face. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be in the city for, and I’d love to catch up.”

“Sure,” Sonny smiled back. “I’d like that.”

Peter held out his hand, such a formal gesture, one that Sonny wasn’t expecting. He grabbed the hand and pulled Peter into a hug, the barely audible ‘oof’ made his stomach flutter. But it was Peter’s familiar smell, warm and comforting, just as he had remembered, that caused Sonny to cling a little tighter.

He didn’t want to let Peter go, he didn’t want him to slip through his fingers once again. He buried himself in the one sided embrace, revelling in the feel of Peter’s solid form pressed against him. That was the moment Sonny realized that he was still in love with Peter Stone.

He couldn’t help but feel the sting of disappointment when Peter took a step back and flashed his soft sweet smile once more. Then he did something unexpected, he took a step forward once again and wrapped both of his arms around Sonny before he buried himself into Sonny’s neck.

Sonny bought his own arms up and held Peter close to him. He couldn’t help but smile as they stood there, arms around one another, neither man wanting to let go. That was the moment when Sonny Carisi realized that Peter Stone was still in love with him.

That was when Sonny knew that he and Peter were going to finally get another chance. For the first moment in a long time, everything felt perfect.


End file.
